Kids burst shops, by filling them with rice, and pouring in water: then standing back and laughing, while the bricks are ripped apart by the swelling
| Have I got flies in my eyes? After a wee trip to E-Mart (pronounced ee-maa-tu) to stock up where old Mother Hubbard could not, I headed off to the cinema (more on that later). I had, for the first time managed to get some sausages and was looking forward to a tasty meal after the film. I also bought some bread (a luxury here due to the cost) and was all excited about my yummy snack that awaited me after the movie. I got home around midnight and started to get everything ready so that I could relax with my sausage sarnies and watch some CSI. The cooking done and the regular mass of dirty dishes and pots dumped almost unceremoniously into the sink (did do a short reading), I sat down to relax and gorge. After finishing my first piece I noticed something out the corner of my eye on some of the bread that was sitting to my side.... ANTS. These were no cute ants out of some animated film, these were stinky horrible real ants, with little creepy legs and whatever else ants have. In my haste to get sausage into me (ooer) I had not noticed the bread was alive! As you know I am usually a sane and calm person, so I did what every sane and calm person does in this situation - I let down the regular walls my psyche had built up in order to contain the odd thoughts, terrible visions, voices and mindless violence. I freaked out. Throwing everything that had gotten close to the bread into the bin and then carting it outside, raced back in and jumped into the shower (you know how it is when you see bugs and you start feeling all itchy? Well this feeling was on the inside too). The shower was freezing and I almost went into shock because of it...... Probably. Perhaps some of you reading this now will be thinking about all these little bugs crawling over your skin and in your hair? Just whatever you do think about then going up your nose or into your mouth, that would make you feel really horrible. |
posted by Alanowski @ 3:20 pm
11 Comments:
The famous Korean Ant Bread. Mmmm. Just like nobody I've ever known used to make. Aren't you supposed to be used to foreign food by now, Al?
I mock (therefore I am), but I would have screamed like a little girl. I did find a colony of some sort of tiny white beasties in a bag of flour once. There were quite a few of them. They'd actually evolved to the point where they had not only an intricate language system, but a twelve team football league and a national philosophy totally based on empiricism, regecting logic and reason as "a bit gay".
I had to kill them. You see that, don't you?
The quote isn't coming to me. Sounds like Monty Python, but I don't think it is.
DFP.
Mr P (similar to Mr T although with copper jewelry and a love of flying) has done amazingly well in this round and managed to knock Monty Python out of the runnings.
The quote is still open folks, hopefully it can be beaten by the end of play today.
Happy hunting
OOoooh so close Mr Burnside. Your detactive and beating powers are bested by few.
Keep trying folks
If it's not "The Day Today" -- could it be "Brass Eye"?
Or am I only allowed one guess? If so I pick the second one, since I now know the first one was wrong.
DFP.
If DFP is only allowed one guess and his guess is null and void, can I take a wild stab at Brass Eye also?
Yuk Yuk
Gref
Judges are checking the rule book. Please await further info. While you do so please enjoy this music:
La la la, de de de do, la la la de do dee dum (repeat)
If I may take a legal point of view, previously the stating of "Naked Gun" was not sufficient to get any points when it was an incomplete title. This precedent clearly relates in this case -- guessing a similar programme should not gain a point.
In the matter of the second guess, players have previously posted that they do not know then replied with the answer later and were awarded points. If we examine Mr DFP's first post we can see that he does not say "I guess Monty Python" or anything similar. Rather he states "I don't think it is" Monty Python. Clearly this does not qualify as a guess.
Upon reflection it is obvious that Mr DFP should be given the point.
Yours,
Perry Mason.
PS -- That will be five thousand dollars, please.
I agree with my learned friend's legal opinion.
Yours,
Rumpole of the Bailey
PS -- That will be one pound, three shillings and six pence.
I also agree.
Yours,
Stiffler from the American pie films and Dude Where's My Car and Road Trip (even though I wasn't Stiffler in those last two).
With that kind of legal opinion, I don't know how you could find for anyone but me. It would be madness.
DFP.
Sheriffs are always crazy. i find the defendant not guilty
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