Michael Jackson didn't come over to my house to use the bathroom. But his sister did.
I've finally gone and done it now haven't I?I was with a class earlier and we were doing comparisons, I was drawing pictures of fish saying 'long' and 'short', and then elephants and dogs saying 'big' and 'small'. I first hit my problem when I tried to draw 'pretty' and 'ugly' (try this yourselves with stick men, it's pretty tough. My problem continued when I did 'thin' and 'fat', the kids got it straight away and like a bunch of rabid little monsters....... They pounced!
"Alan teacher, you are fat. Alan teacher, you are fat". This was starting to look bad, I had to do something quick, should I laugh it off? No they would think that I am happy and continue. Should I get angry? No they would see that as a sign of weakness, a sense that is more evolved than the sharks sense of smell for blood (and comparable in frenzy).
Too late, after rolling the possibilities over in my head, I came back into reality and heard that they had all taken it as a new catch phrase, I can't wait to see Roy Walker getting people to guess it, Mr Chips will probably have 'Alan' written on his big fat chest while he is surrounded by kids that are pointing and laughing.
I lost it and....... Well it all went a bit dark after that, I remember a struggle and tenor voice sobbing, and I woke up surrounded by little Korean dwarfs, who turned out to be children, little cute, evil, manevolant children.
Can't wait till I teach them lactose intolerant/tolerant that'll show them. I can shout "As a nation you are lactose intolerant ha ha ha ha" Then we'll see who has to go to a psychiatrist on account of their 'rage'
posted by Alanowski @ 7:52 pm
3 Comments:
Wrote by David F. Porteous:
The Goonies -- said by Chunk, who is my role model.
David F. Porteous writes:
I am a liar. I did Allo Allo. I feel unclean. Still, it's all for Children In Need. Possibly a few pennies from the money I helped raise today will go to pay for the therapy of Korean children.
Children in need of a slap, that's my philosophy. Well, I say philosophy, it's more of a hobby.
I'm impressed, I thought that was a bit of a toughy. I'd actually forgotten about it, but it came up in conversation the other night, and I think that it is one of the best quotes I've heard in a long time.
I woke up in this Japanese family's rec room, and they would not stop shouting!
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