Like a midget at a urinal, I was going to have to stay on my toes.
I was standing naked in a shower, surrounded by naked Korean men, all of whom were intently staring at me. It wasn’t always like this; and the reasons for me being in this predicament begin a little over a week ago.
(A little over a week ago)
“What are you going to do next weekend Alan?” The question came from a fellow teacher Lydia and seemed perfectly innocuous at the time.
“Not much, I’ve no plans as yet” I reply.
“Well do you fancy coming to a sauna with me and a few of my friends?” Not knowing what the whole sauna experience was going to be like, and not wanting to say no and be rude (I’d already expressed that I was doing nothing). I agree and arrangements are made for Saturday evening.
(A few days later)
“I have a couple more friends that are going to be coming along on Saturday too” This sounds good to me as there will be another bloke to be able to show me the way round the place so everything doesn’t go all wrong and I get arrested for going into the women’s changing room or something.
(Saturday)
After a night out at a Korean night club, which was I have to say the strangest experience yet. More info on the clubs in future blogs. I was feeing a little rough going into work for my half hour stint. That done and lunch out of the way we headed off for some coffee before going to the sauna. In the way to getting coffee I was informed that my teacher friend was no longer going as she was busy, and the couple that were going to be going cannot make it either. This was starting to look quite worrying for me, but I managed to put a brave face on it and everything was going to be just fine. So it was to be just me and Younnie (a Dr friend of mine) who were to go into the sauna. She had never been to one here before either, so she could be of no assistance to me with my questions on where you go and what you do. The guy from reception came with me and showed me where my locker was and where to keep my shoes, everything was going grand. I got changed then he came back to show me into the common area to meet up with Younnie. After sitting around chatting in a variety of rooms of varying temperatures and then into an oxygen room, we headed back into the single sex parts for a shower and a Jacuzzi/hot spring thing. I got into the shower after throwing my sauna supplied clothes into the washing hamper and stood there for a good while under the water. I noticed that the place wasn’t very busy, but even that did not stop all the guys staring and showering beside me rather than at the shower furthest away, as is the rule for all those who have ever played sports anywhere ever. I then walked up to the hot spring and took a seat, the feeling was ace and I nearly fell asleep, although I knew I shouldn’t as all these Korean lookers on might come and touch me up or something.
I headed back to get dressed and after drying off, threw my towel in the hamper and went on the short naked walk to the lockers. I stood there surrounded by fully clothed men, completely naked and my key wouldn’t wok in my locker. I remembered my Hitch Hikers training and thought ‘DON’T PANIC’, although this was not easy. I fought with the lock and door for what seemed like an hour with these guys looking, not one of them offered to help.
I managed to get it open eventually, the worry and panic subsiding with each piece of clothing I managed to put on. On the walk up the road afterwards I felt so much better for my experience and am definitely going to return to the sauna. I will however ask for a different locker next time.
posted by Alanowski @ 1:15 pm
8 Comments:
A similar sort of thing happened to me once. Although instead of just the staring, there was also pointing and laughing.
That quote is from one of the naked gun films. I'm not sure which one. Do I get it for that?
I'm off work sick today. I called in and said, "I'm not a medical man, but I think it's Black Death." My boss laughed. I actually think it's flu, though if the next time you see me I'm wearing pine and covered in six feet of dirt... it may be that my first guess was right.
Yours in sickness, D. F. Porteous (I could be President one day).
I'm afraid I need an accurate film name. The one with that actor that was also in that other film just doesn't cut it.
I'm still burnside.....
Major Major had lied, and it was good. He was not really surprised that it was
good, for he had observed that people who did lie were, on the whole, more resourceful
and ambitious and successful than people who did not lie.
I think its The Naked gun.From the files of police sqaud. but if its not it might be The Naked gun 2 1/2. The smell of fear. or then again it might be The naked gun 33 1/3 The final insult.
I feel for her like a blind roofer.
This must be worth half a point
Bomber sorry no half points, you could just go on to imdb and get a list of every film ever made and put that on (but don't there will be no points for that)
The table is still open
Burnside moves in with a victory in round 4, the score table is beginning to look nearly interesting folks!
Well, what with having so little to do, I can think of no better reason than to watch all three naked gun films on DVD. I'll be back in about 5 hours.
Yours in plague, D. F. P.
Good showing there, and it seems that with his day off, Mr Porteous is intently watching the Alanowski site for more information. How many of you out there are living through my trifling adventures?
Wait till I tell you the story about cooking a potato - that one gets HOT!
Just as a note, there are some pics up of my trip on Sunday on the photo board.
What can I say? It's like stalking that you can do from the comfort of your own home.
I just logged on to say that I think it's 33 1/3, only to discover that I'd been pipped at the post just four hours earlier. It's like when I competed in that fun run alongside my nemesis, Professor Stephen Hawking. Not only did he beat me, but he set a new record for the 10km. If only I'd know when I was cutting the break line on his chair that the whole distance would be downhill and in a straight line. What were the odds?
It's actually round five, by the way.
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