The Amazing Adventures of Alanowski

Friday was a stunning birthday celebration for one of my fellow teachers. The rules are somewhat different here, as was the happy birthday song. The song, even though we all know that they can speak english, they sung in Korean - the cheek of it!

So it was out to a local bar for a few beers and a bit of food. They were doing the ordering so I just sat as my eyes glazed over at the thought of a night spent with a bunch of women as they all talked in some crazy language. This is true of any night spent with women as what they find interesting and compelled to talk about is so bizarre, that I feel they are in their own way, speaking some foreign language at all times. The beers arrived as did the first of the snacks, a typical meal of noodles and veg in a nice and spicy sauce. Have you ever tried to eat noodles with chopsticks? If you haven't then I suggest you try it, if you have then now I understand how you keep your figure.

After this was all eaten, a big bowl of what they described as sea snails came out for us. I tried a few and thats exactly what it was, salty snail things, the consistency of which could destroy the constitution of many a man. I washed down this last snack with a large gulp of beer and we continued chatting away about inane subjects.

The next snack was flattened, dried squid. I asked how they managed to get that amazing waxen flatness and they said that it was just hung up and it dried that way. I don'y believe this for a moment, but I gave up: it's very difficult to describe a mangle to someone who hasn't seen one and speaks only a little of your language.

The evening ended not long after that as all the women had to get home and tend to their husbands and families. Those who have seen the episode of Father Ted, where he describes what happened to all the women's husbands when they were left to their own devices for a short time will be glad to here that such things are not limited to the British Isles. Only one was staying out and meeting with a guy called Khan who I had met a few times and used to run the school that I am working at.

Khan's choice of bar was considerably more subdued and old school, the music was something to behold: I think that My Way was really written for an old Korean to do a 12 minute version on the accordion. We sat and ordered beers and as is the case wherever you go here, some food was ordered too. Now, as this was a more traditional bar, they had more traditional foods and so we were served fried noodles and some tiny fishlike things and silkworm larvae. For anyone who hasn't had silkworm larvae, the experience isn't completely dreadful and the flavour is akin to some mild tasting mud (thankyou to PL rugby for me to know what that tastes like).

A few more beers and some more mud bugs and it was time to go home. I walked home hoping that someone would deliver a king rib supper to my door. This did not happen